If you don’t follow me on Instagram, I post once a week some journal prompts for you guys to answer in your own journals and reflect for that week. A few weeks ago, I posted prompts about singleness. You can still find those on a highlight, but I knew this was an entry that had to be written.

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In the past month or so, I’ve fixed my focus on singleness itself, what it means to me and how to fulfill it. I choose not to look at my season of singleness as a burden because this means I can focus on other relationships with my family, friends, coworkers, and most importantly, my relationship with Christ. In the bible, our relationship with Christ is described as a marriage. Christ LOVES the church, and it’s no wonder why. Christ gave up His live for our own. (Ephesians 5:24-25) and God is a jealous God (Exodus 34:14 & Deuteronomy 4:24).

Plus, this season of my life has so many resources! When I feel hopeless or discouraged, I can read the Word or watch/listen to podcasts that uplift me and encourage me when they provide wisdom and their own personal experiences. Knowing that everyone goes through this allows me not to dwell on being alone. There’s a difference between being alone and feeling lonely.

So here are some things I’m currently and actively doing:

• Praying! This is essential for us Christians! Our future spouse isn’t going to fall from the sky or magically appear. Praying allows us to confide in God about the desires of our heart. This also challenges us in the things that we pray for. I always pray that He continues to do a new work in me and mold me into the woman I need to be before I meet my future husband. I should be praying more boldly, and since I’ve that this week, I have already seen God answer and when He does, I bring it back to him, so He can reveal to me what it means. Praying also means that I give up my control of situations and my worries, dreams, and battles. It is so relieving knowing that I praise a God who answers and listens. Praying provides healing, and softening my heart while removing any bitterness I might carry. And I don’t hide anything, I am honest when I pray because He already knows me so I pray with detail!

• Be Connected with Your Community. Community is essential for every season of your life and most definitely when you’re single. It’s important to be with others who are in the same season and provide discipleship and memories you can share with them. We go through life together and we are always learning from God. It’s great to be with others because it allows us to know that we are not alone with what we feel in our current season.

• Spending Time with God. I do this consistently and choose a time in the day (for me it’s at night right before I get ready for bed.) and spend that time reading the Word, worshipping Him as I get to know myself, He reveals to me what He is providing me with and what to do in my life. It’s not easy to learn how to hear His voice and having discernment but the more I go to Him about it, the more He answers. I don’t choose to only reads parts of the Bible that speak about marriage or relationships because I am seeking after God’s character and His heart. I just finished reading 1 Corinthians because I never finished reading that book so now, I am reading 2nd Corinthians! The way Paul loves the church and grieves for them is so sweet to read. He really has God’s people in mind when writing these letters to them. The way he talks to the people of Corinth is the same way God cares for us, as we are His church, and He is the bride. He doesn’t give up on us even when we fall into sin. How AMAZING is that?!

• Taking Myself on Dates. Yep. You read that right. Recently, I went to a seasonal market on my own when I normal ask some friends to go with me. No one was available that day, but I decided to make the most of it and go on my own. It ended up being so fun, dressing up and walking around and talking to all of the different vendors and people watch. I played my favorite playlist to and from, so I was basically screaming on the highway heading home and it was the perfect way to end the day. I don’t do this as often as I should because I really enjoy my own company and treating myself from time to time! Some things I do is go on study dates alone, read outside and watch some Hallmark movies (yes, they’re cheesy but I don’t need to use much brain power to figure out the plots and they’re cute!) I can choose to do whatever I want until I have to make that decision with someone else.

And now here’s my segment of encouragement:

Dear Christain girl,

I know how difficult it is to feel like nothing is going on in your life. It feels like we are in a desert where we are crying out to God to give us rain, food, shelter, just for Him to provide when we need it most. I am here to tell you to not give up. Just because there’s nothing happening physically in your life doesn’t mean that there’s nothing going on in the Spirit. God is always having your dreams and desires in mind while fighting for you, He’s waiting for you to call out to Him. There will be hard times where you just don’t believe you’ll ever find your future husband, but He has good plans for you. He wants you to have the best and it may not match your expectations so prepare for what you’re praying for. Constantly pray for your future spouse, that he protects his purity, he trusts God, and is surrounded in Godly community with mentors guiding him to be a man of God. Don’t leave God out of this season instead, have a burning desire to know Him, choosing to pursue Him. When it is time to pursue a guy, it is going to be a choice. When you get rejected, know that it’s God protected you, telling you to not compromise for He has planned for you. He will heal you from that hurt and use it for His glory. Who knows, maybe God will open his mind about you to him but let that be God’s will and not your own. Trust His timing instead of putting your hand in the situation. His timing over everything. Wait for a guy to pursue you, let God lead you in the decisions you make. Learn what it means to be content in this season of singleness. Be bold by praying bold. God can be hiding you now as He’s preparing you to be the womans of God and when He unveils you to that guy, it will be worth the wait. Don’t lose hope and continue to praise Him with everything that you do. There are so many things you can do in this season of singleness but don’t do anything out of boredom or desperation. Serve in any way you can in your church and be active in Godly community that will build you with wisdom, hope, and personal experience. Don’t compromise for anyone just because you’re the only friend in your group without a boyfriend. There is so much going for you that you can’t even see because if you did, you would be overwhelmed and would want to change it, so put your trust in God to do what we could ask, think, or imagine. Keep Matthew 6:33 in mind, There is no better time to be closer to God than now. I believe in you. We can do this.

KEEP POURING,

KHALIE, X